Be Still

It didn’t happen all at once.

There wasn’t a moment where everything clicked and suddenly made sense; it was smaller than that. Little shifts I didn’t notice in the moment, but in the process of reflecting on my growth, I can see them more clearly.

I think I expected growth to feel obvious.
Like something I could point to and say, “that’s it.”

But it hasn’t looked like that. It’s looked like the moments where I paused instead of reacting. The times where I chose differently… even in the uncertainty.

My default is to overthink and overplan everything, without making any real steps to execute. Or I’ll take a step or two, then get impatient and burn it all to the ground before it’s had time to take root. I was busy with things that didn’t belong to me. Negotiating what I could handle and what I would hand over to God.

Maybe that’s why I’ve questioned if anything was actually changing.

⁷ Be still in the presence of the Lord,
    and wait patiently for him to act.

Psalm 37:7 (NLT)

When God told me to pause, I ignored it for a bit, still thinking I needed to get things done—not pause. As things started to feel heavier, I would get completely overwhelmed and question my life choices. Praying for guidance, while ignoring what I had already been told to do.

So maybe I can pinpoint it to an obvious shift.

It was the shift from negotiation… to obedience.